138: Paula Gosney on Overcoming to Be Your Best Self
Paula Gosney is a writer, businesswoman, feminist, warrior, speaker and mom. At 11-years-old she was sent to boarding school, and during her teenage years she became the victim of sexual assault. Her 20’s were spent seeking pain relief through a mix of hard drugs, alcohol, and personal development masters. She established her first business at 21. Her current endeavor, Belief School, is an accumulation of all she has learned, taught and lived. Her personal vision is to help other women heal more quickly, accept love earlier in their lives and contribute to their own lives sooner. Much like what she would have done, had she been exposed to the principles she teaches today sooner.
“As women, we need to celebrate our broken bits and stop the righteousness, stop the blaming and hold each other up. Because we are bloody awesome.” – Paula Gosney
Click to tweet: .@BeliefSchool is sharing her story to inspire you on Women Taking the Lead https://www.womentakingthelead.com/138 #inspiration
Playing Small Moment
Women succumb to two types of fear. One is an intuition-based fear which comes from deep in our subconscious. It is a healthy, survival-based fear. “Women are taught to ignore our gut feelings,” Paula says, “but what we should be doing is giving ourselves permission to trust this fear”. The second type of fear is one we should not allow ourselves to fall prey to, as it is one of the greatest poisons of our society. It is when we feel this fear telling us we cannot do something or we are not good enough that we need to embrace the moment and know that we are not the voices in our heads.
The Wake Up Call
Paula’s wakeup call came during some of her darkest days. She was listening to her inner victim and living the life it chose for her. One day, a profound thing happened as she was sitting in her car. Almost mystically, the clouds parted, the sun hit her shoulders and she thought “Wait, I get to choose how my life will be”. She found it empowering and now teaches others that if we stop listening to our inner victim we will become creative, solution-focused and powerful.
Style of Leadership
Paula believes in a service based leadership approach and leading by example. She says “we have to be the lighthouse and light the way for others by owning our own mistakes.” She adds “the world around us is a reflection of who we are being.”
What Are You Excited About?
Paula is bursting with excitement over her new book The Fuck Off Handbook for Healing and Celebrating Your Broken Bits. It’s just now coming together but she already knows it’s really good. It is a practical guide about shedding shame and owning our experiences. She adds that this book may not be the last as she certainly has 1 or 2 more books in her.
Leadership Challenge
Paula faces the challenge of moving into a bigger mindset. In her other businesses, she has always done everything herself. Her new project requires more funding and more partners. Everything is expanding. She is presently adopting a THINK BIG mentality and moving past previous challenges.
Book to Develop Leadership
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris
Advice For Younger Self
Paula says she would grab her 16-year-old self by the shoulders and say “This is not about you. This has nothing to do with you. You get to choose your story.” and “Define what gives you satisfaction for yourself, don’t let it be defined by the people around you.”
Inspirational Quotes
Paula finds it beneficial to choose one of her limiting beliefs and then write her own success quote around it.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Gandhi
Links
https://www.facebook.com/BeliefSchool/
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