100% Jodi: Transparency, Authenticity & Vulnerability

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We are just about to close out January. Can you believe we are already checking off one month in 2018?

I hope you are feeling momentum and a sense of “I got this” now that we are a few weeks in. If you don’t I want you to know you are not alone!

Since this episode represents month end I thought I would give you and update on the progress I’ve made with my goals at the very end of this episode. Since many of you expressed how helpful it was for me to use myself as an example for creating goals, I’m going to give monthly updates that will be in the 100% Jodi episode at the end of each month.

Let’s define transparency, authenticity and vulnerability

In this episode I am going to cover transparency, authenticity and vulnerability. These have become buzzwords in the current vernacular.

We have a strong desire to connect with something real. Turns out reality TV is actually staged and the current requirement for political correctness has caused an avoidance of truth.

With all the media channels, social or otherwise, that we are now on to engage with our friends and find out what’s going on out in the world we have also exposed ourselves to an enormous amount of over-done marketing.

It can be exhausting.

On the flip side is the experience when someone without drama or manipulation tells the truth.

They open up their minds, their hearts and share their experiences in the hopes they can connect with others and be helpful to them.

Just thinking about the experiences I’ve had when another person was willing to be real with me, it makes me feel joy. I sigh with relief because we can let go of the pretenses and have a real conversation about things that mean something to us.

You can see why the pendulum is swinging and we are craving more of these experiences. Now many people are jumping on the movement to be more real but this is also causing the waters to muddy because people are using the terms transparency, authenticity and vulnerability incorrectly and it’s creating some confusion.

Given that I have taken on Vulnerability as my theme for 2018 I am especially interested in clarifying these terms because it will keep my intention top of mind.

To start let me give you some simple definitions.

Transparency is how much you share.

Transparency has more to do with the quantity of information you share rather than the relevance or quality of information you share.

People or organizations that have a core-value of transparency will likely let you see a good deal of their records but you may have no interest in that information.

Authenticity is the truth of your words and actions.

Authenticity has more to do with the quality of the information you share rather than the quantity and it is backed up in everything you do.

People who have a core-value of authenticity will not quibble or try to couch their responses to your questions. They will give you their honest perspective and their gut-reactions. You may not like what you hear them say but that’s your issue, not theirs.

Vulnerability is the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

The added layer that is required to being vulnerable is risk. You have to be willing to risk rejection or attack. This is why Brene Brown, who is a social researcher on shame and human connection, rarely talks about vulnerability without discussing bravery.

To truly connect with others we must be brave and take the risk of getting vulnerable.

How do these transparency, authenticity and vulnerability play together?

• You can be transparent without being authentic or vulnerable.
• You can be authentic without being transparent or vulnerable.
• But you cannot be vulnerable without being transparent and authentic.

To be vulnerable you must share more than you are comfortable with and be completely honest in the sharing.

In The Accomplished Community, which is my membership community, we have two Zoom calls a month when anyone and everyone can jump on to ask questions, get feedback from the group or get coaching.

In one of our December calls someone asked about how to build confidence. There were a lot of great tips shared by the whole group. After it was done I invited everyone, rather than focusing on building confidence, to take on being more vulnerable.

Because when you are willing to be vulnerable you don’t need confidence and those you are speaking with are more likely to connect with you as a human, as a professional and as an expert.

I did a presentation for a local women’s network about a year ago and one of my clients came and sat in the front row.

After the presentation she came up to me all excited and said, “I couldn’t believe it. When you started talking you did great and then I saw your hands were shaking and I realized you were nervous!”

I responded, “Yes, I was nervous! There are a lot of powerful women in this room.”

She went on, “Before today I would have never imagined you getting nervous about anything. And while I watched you be nervous and still do a great presentation I realized I can do it to. Before today if something made me nervous I would avoid it. Now I know I can be nervous and do it anyway.”

Spoiler alert: before I speak and probably for a good minute or two at the beginning I get nervous. Some of it’s just excitement but nonetheless my mouth will get dry, my voice my tremble and my hands may shake. I don’t let that stop me.

Because I’m clear that I can help people by doing public speaking I take the risk of looking foolish and I speak, openly and honestly. That’s vulnerability.

Where you can find more opportunities to practice vulnerability

Just like The Accomplished Community I want to encourage you to find more opportunities to seek to be vulnerable rather than confident.

For those of you who need to tell your story as a part of your business or your career you’re going to need to get vulnerable if you want to create a human connection. I’m not just talking about facts and figures. That’s transparency.

You need to be transparent and authentic to the point that you expose yourself to being judged and rejected. That’s vulnerability.

If you are looking to transform a relationship in any area of your life, that’s going to take vulnerability.

If you want to have influence, start a movement or gain buy-in… You guessed it, vulnerability.

To quote Brene Brown in her book, Daring Greatly…

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”  ~ Brené Brown

I promised to give you an update on my goals

1. Build more strength and endurance.

Goal: Do 300 Spartan-regulation burpees in one session by June 30. Separately, do an unassisted pull-up.

Originally I guessed my baseline was 50 burpees in a session but turns out my baseline was 100 and the next week I did 120 burpees and then last week I did 140 burpees. At this rate I will hit 300 burpees well before June 30.

And during one of my burpee sessions I got the inspiration to turn the achievement of 300 burpees into an event. Maybe find a place to accomplish this goal, invite others to burpee with me (they don’t have to do 300 burpees) but it could be a fundraiser for a local charity and maybe do a Facebook live. I’m still playing with the idea.

So it was great that I was more fit than I had guessed but I was feeling like I was going to have to really raise the bar on the area of strength and endurance and then I remembered, Oh yeah I also have to do a pull-up. I don’t think I’m going to accomplish this goal so easily so it will probably keep me busy for a while.

I already have a pull-up bar. My next step is to buy a set of pull up bands. I’ll start with the largest band for support and graduate to a smaller band when I can do 3 sets of 5 pull-ups in one session. That sounds right but if you’re a personal trainer and you have a better idea for me let me know. I am totally open to feedback on this goal.

And if I can’t do a pull-up by September I’m going to hire a personal trainer to help me with this goal.

2. Be in a relationship.

Goal: be in a committed, monogamous, romantic partnership with a man.

*I am taking on embodying being more open to partnership and having fun (look the part). I tend to be very focused when I’m out and about and I have gotten feedback from friends and family that I give off signals like I’m already in a relationship or I’m too busy or disinterested in chatting with strangers. Sigh. I’m going to have to change that.

*I have begun telling my family and friends about my goal and ask that they introduce me to single men that they admire and who they think I would get along with, preferably a man with some goals in life who is interested in self-improvement.

*I have also started to research online dating apps and been asking around as to which one would be the best for me. If you’ve successfully done online dating and you have any tips for me please reach out – jodi@womentakingthelead.com. My intention is to do the organic thing to start and then create an account in online dating app by end of February.

3. Increase profitability in my business.

Goal: have a net income (earnings minus expenses) of $80,000 minimum.

I have created a spreadsheet that outlines how many books, assessments, strategy sessions, group programs, private coaching packages, etc. that I need to sell in order to hit my goal.

Now I’m focusing on the marketing and the promotion of those things.

As for my Profit and Loss report I’m going to have to give you the January update in the episode I do at the end of February but I’m in the black at this point by about $1000 and I am pre-recording this obviously so the final numbers are not in. However, if I’m going to have a net profit of $80,000 I’m going to have to do a lot better than this.

The last two goals, 4. Do a Women Taking the Lead branded full-day event in the summer or fall and 5. Outsourcing are contingent upon my profitability goal so no real action taken in these areas as of yet but I’ve started documenting some actions steps I can take when I’m ready to take action.

As always I hope this was helpful to you and here’s to your success!

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Resources

Checklist to Ask Your Company for Coaching: Would coaching help you become a stronger leader? Wondering if your company would pay? It doesn’t hurt to ask!

Leadership Coaching: If you interested in finding out more about my coaching process, the cost of coaching, or how to ask your employer to pay for you to work with a coach, schedule a call with me.

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: The book containing a simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

The Women Taking the Lead Podcast

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