The Secret to Reaching Your Goals

Why do some people achieve their goals and some do not? Given that we tend to choose goals we think we can achieve, why do so many of us fall short?

The answer is simple: integrity.

When you think of a wheel on a bike, you think of it commonly as being made of rubber, shaped in a perfect circle and containing spokes that help to maintain the circular shape. In this description, the wheel has integrity. Meaning, all the parts are in place, it is whole, and thus the wheel can function as a wheel. If you were to take away the spokes on one half, the wheel would no longer have integrity and would not be able to function as a wheel. Even with a couple of spokes missing, the wheel would lack integrity. The power of an object lies in extent to which it has integrity.

For human beings, integrity involves more than the physical make-up of our body. It includes honesty, honoring our values and keeping our word. When we lie, we lose our integrity. And when we go against our values, we lose integrity. When we say we are going to do something and don’t do it, we lose our integrity. As we lose our integrity, we lose our power.

In our design is an internal mechanism that lets us know when we are out of integrity. We can all relate to the feeling we have when we let ourselves and others down. It feels yucky, and we don’t feel better until we can make it right. When we don’t achieve our goals, we experience that feeling of failure; but that feeling started building each time we did not take the actions that were part of the plan. This could be going to the gym, making the phone call, putting in the extra time, etc.

The beauty is we can all get our integrity back. It is never out of our reach.

How do we get the integrity and power back to set ourselves up for success?

Here’s a list of things you can do to start getting your power back right away. Pick two you can do in the next couple of days, then plot out when you can complete the rest…and then do it. For real. Tell someone about your plan and ask them to be your accountability partner.

1. Pick an area in your home that contains clutter and clear it away. Trash, recycle, donate, box and put in attic; whatever you have to do to clear it away. Pick another area, rinse and repeat until your home is clutter-free.

2. Pay all your bills or work out a payment plan to reduce your debt. Going forward, pay all your bills on time.

3. Clean your car inside and out, ensure fluid levels are optimal, and ensure registration and inspection is up-to-date.

4. Make sure your bookkeeping is up-to-date and all prior year tax returns have been filed.

5. Fix, replace, retouch, or remove anything in your space that is damaged in any way. This can include light bulbs, handles, doorknobs, walls, light switch covers, etc. Anything that catches your attention and does not give you a good feeling needs to be improved or it needs to go.

6. Clean out your closet to remove any clothes that are outdated or no longer fit you. Separate into two piles: trash and donate. You know what to do.

7. Throw away outdated items in your refrigerator, food and medicine cabinets.

8. Delete programs and files you no longer use or need, defragment your computer, and make sure your anti-virus subscriptions are up to date.

9. Get your annual physical and semi-annual dental appointments. Throw in your eye exam if that relates to you.

Do not skip the next two. These two things will free up so much of your energy and power, you’ll feel like a new person.

10. Seek forgiveness from anyone you have wronged.

11. Forgive anyone who has wronged you.

Note: this does not require any interaction with the person who has wronged you. If that would be too much, you can write a letter and not send it. Rip it up or burn it instead. The most important piece is to release resentment. You’ll know you have done so when thinking of the person or event no longer causes you upset. You may also feel a release in the tension in your chest or upper back.

12. Make a list of the people you promised to stay in contact with but did not. Reach out to them. You don’t have to promise to be in regular contact going forward. The point of this is to honor the original agreement. You can be honest about the likelihood of regular contact. They’ll understand. Our priorities change over time.

This list may not have anything to do with your goals for 2013 and that’s okay. Completing this list will give you more power and more freedom to focus on your goal and make it happen.

Did I forget anything? Feel free to add items in the comments below.

Resources

Apply to be on an “On-Air Coaching” episode: Are you a female leader who has been promoted in the last year? You are invited to apply to be on the podcast.

Checklist to Ask Your Company for Coaching: Would coaching help you become a stronger leader? Wondering if your company would pay? It doesn’t hurt to ask!

Leadership Operating System Quiz: Wondering what kind of Leadership traits you have? Take this FREE, FAST quiz and find out more about yourself as a Leader.

Leadership Coaching: If you interested in finding out more about my coaching process, the cost of coaching, or how to ask your employer to pay for you to work with a coach, schedule a call with me.

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: The book containing a simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

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