Have you ever cried about your business?

If you haven’t, you don’t know what you’re missing. If you have, then congratu-freakin-lations because you are most likely on the verge of a breakthrough.

On January 1, 2016, after being courted by many powerhouse women in the industry for a few years, I purchased my first business coaching service with Jodi Flynn – The Mindset for Success Assessment. I was in the height of momentum in my network marketing business closing out Q4, I just brought seven new consultants onto my team, I had helped my direct upline and best friend of 15 years go into qualification for the VP level, but something wasn’t right. I had this crippling fear that my dazzling swan dive into the next level was going to end up as one of those really unattractive and painful belly flops that leaves you groaning and welted for days.

Normally my business would jazz me up and energize me, and here I was feeling criminally exhausted all of the time. Why wasn’t I doing the dance of joy, throwing on my captains gear, and running full tilt to jump onto the ship that I had just built that was about to thrust itself into the ocean of awesome-sauce? I couldn’t quiet these ominous voices seeping into my brain telling me I couldn’t handle it, I would drop the ball, and asking me did I really think I was a good enough leader for this incredible team of rock stars I had attracted.

So you can imagine the spike of anxiety I felt shoot through me when Jodi asked if I would like to write for y’all. And we also know that if I consider myself a true leader, I had to do it. Double yikes!

What was this nastiness eating my soul from the inside out?

I meditated on it, journaled about it, read personal growth books, saged my auras, called in my tribe of most trusted advisors, but everything seemed to dance around it. The clinical therapist in me had to riddle me this, and nothing was going to stand in my way.

Cue Jodi Flynn and a debriefing session that started my spelunking into the deep, dark, unknown territory that keeps all of us entrepreneurs awake at night: VISIBILITY.

I was still allowing the opinions of others to determine my worth and it was literally killing both me and my business. My energy was being sucked into the vortex of other people’s insecurities. But hadn’t I paid my dues? I had always done the thing I was supposed to do…gotten straight A’s, earned two degrees, volunteered, had always gotten the job – living successfully, according to society at large.

And still, here I was, should-ing all over myself!

Why was I butting up against this garbage and letting it be the lid on my greatness? After far too much self-indulgent introspection and research, I uncovered a theory that helped me begin to crack the code.

As it turns out, we are culturally programmed to put our value in the hands of others – in the hands of our bosses who decide that we only get paid for the skills they have decided we need regardless of what we bring to the table; in the hands of our parents and other elders and our friends and family who try to limit our lives because of the shortcomings of their own; in the hands of outdated paradigms that break both our spirits and our bank accounts. Making this discovery felt like my world had cracked wide open and I was finally ready to call bullshit.

3 Ways I Started Setting My Own Thermostat

I upgraded my electrical panel.

I started by committing to reading one success story a day of someone in my industry to build my belief. There’s nothing quite like reading about someone who had 100 times more obstacles than you have but did it anyway to light a fire under your booty!

I also added a daily practice of writing in my journal as though what I wanted to happen were already true. For me, the bad programming around money ran tragically deep, but as one of my greatest mentors once told me, “If money were about deserving, you would already have as much as you wanted!”, so I started with that.

Lastly, I made my car my rolling university and only listened to things that inspire me, like the WTL Podcast starring all of you diamonds!

I became mindful of who I was reaching out to.

Have you ever felt like total crap after hearing no from a prospect or client and found yourself picking up the phone to call one of your oldest friends or a close family member without even thinking? And the next thing you know you’re free-falling down a pit of despair backward into your victimhood? Yeah, me too.

I made a rule for myself to wait five minutes before acting on that urge to call someone when I felt bad about being rejected to ask myself, “Is calling this person moving me closer to my goal, or further away from it?”

I created my board of prosperity directors and drew the line in the sand that I would only call them when I was coming from that place.

I started letting myself off the hook and not caring what it all looked like.

It never ceases to amaze me the tolerance we have for others making mistakes but we relive ours over and over like that movie “Groundhog Day”.

Not only was I having my misery in advance based on prior mishaps, but I was also comparing myself to others, pushing myself when my body and mind were crying for me to stop, and was trying to look like I had it all together doing it.

If you’re going to book a one way trip out onto the skinny branch, there will be no craps left to give about if your sunglasses make you look fat.

So what does it all mean?

The closest answer I have is that it means we must go out, add value, do what makes US feel good, trust that there is beauty in the mess, and remember that our work is never done.

Libby Bunten is an Area Manager in Arbonne and has a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and a PhD in connecting with others. She has achieved success in many industries, ranging from corporate brokerage to counseling at-risk youth, but she considers to have found her glory in the business of leadership. She started her Arbonne business in January of 2014 and has found it is the only thing that continuously keeps her on her toes and growing in both her business and her personal relationships. She has committed her life to demystifying the antiquated misconceptions about her industry while helping others live out their greater purpose through the vessel of Arbonne.