100% Jodi: Are You Being Too Proud to Ask for Help?
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Hello everyone and thank you for joining me today. This episode is coming out a bit later than I promised. The reason for that is that I have been battling with myself about what I want to share with you, how much I want to share and how I want to share what’s in my head.
I finished up last year feeling like I was going through the motions. I gave you my last update on my 2018 goals but I wrapped that episode knowing I could have said so much more about my experiences in the last year.
I will say the appreciation you all showed me in spite of that feeling overwhelmed me to the point of tears. I felt such gratitude for all of you and especially to those of you who commented and sent messages. You touched my heart and called me to step up and be the leader that I am.
Appreciation Makes All the Difference
Here are some of the comments that were posted on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram:
“Hi Jodi, your year-end post is articulate, inspiring and relatable. Good job letting go of the pull ups! You set aggressive business goals and your progress was amazing! Keep up the momentum and thanks for sharing!” ~ Holly M. Smevog, Talent Development ✻ Performance Assessments ✻ Career Coaching at Drake Inglesi Milardo, Inc.
“I started to listen to this episode yesterday, and immediately stopped and went back to all your previous updates – thank you for being so open, honest and vulnerable! I was going to make goals for myself anyway, but you inspired me to do it today (even though my kids are running around me in circles).” ~ Allison Bishop, Financial Coach
“I just want to say thank you for being a leader to all of us. Your podcast is the one I turn to when I am facing struggles and I truly appreciate you!!!! Here’s to making 2019 one for the books!” ~ Katie Robins, Mommy. Wife. Motivator. Beauty Enthusiast
This feedback hit me and I was humbled by it because of a tendency that is typical of overachievers: that mindset of, “It’s not good enough. It doesn’t matter how much you did, ultimately you failed because you are not good enough.”
Although I’ve come a long way to ignore these messages and see them for what they are – my inner critic wanting me to play it safe – these messages can blindside me if I’m not taking good care of myself or not being aware of what is going on.
December was in fact quite hectic and had some twists and turns and I allowed myself to become depleted and that was all my inner critic needed to step up and take the microphone so to speak. It’s laughable now as I look back on it but at the time it was no fun.
However, when I started reading some of the feedback on the episode it snapped me out of it, so THANK YOU to those of you who without knowing it got me out of the spiral my inner critic was sending me into.
Message on Failure
This whole experience had me wondering how you ended the year. Did you accomplish all your goals, did you accomplish none of your goals, or did you have a mix of success and failure like me?
Were you peacefully accepting of your results, did you whoop it up to celebrate, or did you beat yourself up for not checking off all the boxes.
Personally, I celebrate you for what you achieved, for the work you put in; for the battles you may have had with yourself to overcome self-doubt or a lack of motivation, to ask for help when needed, and for sacrificing short-term pleasures for long-term satisfaction and fulfillment.
I want to celebrate you for what you did not achieve. I want to honor you for being “in the arena” as the Theodore Roosevelt quote goes, for facing your demons, for getting back up time and again only to end the year short of goal.
I honor you for looking failure in the face and my hope is it has not changed how you see yourself, unless it is to recognize how strong and powerful you are in the face of failure.
There is nothing you are missing internally. You may need to line things up externally but you already have within you all you need to be successful. Your task is to find out how to draw it out of you; how to peel back the layers of “who you are not” so you can finally see clearly who you really are and let yourself, your true self, play in the world.
Our Work Continues
I have not given up on the goals I did not achieve just because the calendar turned over a year and I hope you haven’t either.
I shared in the last episode that I realized the goals I achieved are the goals I got help with. The goals I did not achieve are the ones I tried to achieve on my own. How’s that for a wake-up call?
As I did not achieve my profitability or my relationship goal I have consulted a sales coach and a relationship coach and have joined their communities. I am enjoying the training and the homework I’m getting, as well as the conversations I’m having with the other members of these communities.
What I’ve come to realize, and as a coach this has me laughing, is that what is getting in my way from making my business more profitable is related to what is getting in my way when it comes to relationships. This is a very recent discovery and I’m still processing it so I’ll share more in a future episode.
So the goals I did not achieve last year are still on my radar and I’m adding some new goals to the mix for 2019.
This year I am going to write my second book and I’m going to explore working with a publisher this time. I would also like to use my book as a platform to gain more paid speaking opportunities in the coming year.
I also want to look at the language I use to describe my ideal clients, my services, and my process, and then update the Women Taking the Lead website and business collateral with any changes.
Lastly is my health and fitness goal, because a couple years ago I discovered that for my own well-being I need to have a health and fitness goal.
There is no extraordinary feat I am trying to accomplish and this is going to sound trivial but it is not. There is a weight I want to achieve that represents to me a healthy weight for my height, age, gender and fitness level. That being said if at any time my body gives me signals that I’ve lost too much weight, or what I’m doing doesn’t feel health-affirming, I will pivot.
Alternatively, if I hit this weight and I sense I still am carrying weight that is not necessary I’ll keep going.
My plan is to do this slowly.
I am going to maintain the same workout schedule I have now but add in more yoga. My focus is primarily going to be on my nutrition to make sure I’m eating nutrient dense foods that my body agrees with. I’ll be watching portions and fueling on a schedule that Alex, my nutrition coach and personal trainer, gave me when I was training for my burpee goal last year.
Tools that will Enhance Your Success
The other thing that helped me last year with my health and fitness goal that has already helped me to drop my holiday weight and a little bit more is my spiritual practice.
Doing A Course in Miracles for the past nearly year and half has helped me to find more peace in my day. And when I have more peace I also have fewer cravings and more discipline. Given that, my spiritual practice will be something that will be contributing to my health and wellness goal.
A spiritual practice, whatever that looks like for you, and getting help from others is something I would absolutely recommend for you if you are struggling with achieving your goals.
I would also recommend gaining more awareness of yourself, how you interact with others, and what you believe about the world and what’s possible for you. To this end I’m going to recommend, if you haven’t already, doing the Energy Leadership Assessment.
This attitudinal self-assessment is where I start all of my clients because it brings them bulls-eye to exactly what is keeping them from achieving what they want to achieve and having the life they want to have.
Whether it’s having enjoyable personal and work relationships, having the energy and focus to make progress in their business or career, or having the freedom to go after something they’ve always wanted but didn’t think they could have.
This new sense of freedom has allowed many of my clients to stop tolerating what’s not working in their life and to start making the changes required to have the life that they want.
What I want to underscore is the awareness you gain from this process makes it easier to make these changes.
It’s not that you suddenly have the ability to muscle through making changes; you suddenly don’t need to muscle through because you no longer experience what keeps you from taking decisive action. Those things may include fear, anxiety, burden, dread, exhaustion, confusion, self-doubt, etc.
With a new awareness of who you really are and what shapes your experiences, those debilitating feelings fade away and in their place is a quiet certainty of what you want.
The Energy Leadership Assessment will help you gain your personal power to direct your own life and confidence to make your moves. As one client put it, “I finally got permission from the only person I needed permission from: me.”
Many of my clients say that this process was the turning point for them. They can see a clear difference in their experience of life before and after the assessment.
If you have been at a loss for why you are not satisfied with your life or work, or if you have been dreaming about a life you know can be yours but you’re struggling to make it a reality, the Energy Leadership Assessment will get at the heart of what’s keeping you from it.
Let me assure you, the success and satisfaction you are looking for comes much more easily once you know what’s preventing you from having it.
I invite you to go to womentakingthelead.com/assessment to take the first step. As I learned last year, success comes when you stop trying to figure it out all on your own and accept some help. I would love to help you.
As I bring this episode to a close I want to let you know I will be scaling back a bit more on new content for the podcast. I am committed to immersing myself in the writing of my second book and I need to allow some space for that.
However, I will be releasing episodes occasionally so if you want to be certain that you get those episodes when they are released be sure to subscribe to the Women Taking the Lead podcast if you haven’t already.
Also, I’ll be sharing snippets from the book, as well as leadership tips, tools and practices with my email list so if you’d like those particular updates be sure to opt-in to the newsletter.
I’ll leave you by repeating Katie Robins’ message, “Here’s to making 2019 one for the books!”
As always, I hope this was of value to you and here’s to your success!
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