100% Jodi: On You Living “The Four Agreements” Part One
Click the play button to listen to the podcast episode.
Hello everyone. Thank you for joining me. What can I share with you that has been going on in my world? Well, for one, there are going to be some changes to my website. WomenTakingTheLead.com is going to get a whole new look and feel soon. I’m really excited about this because the changes are more reflective of my brand and what I am trying to accomplish with Women Taking the Lead.
If I haven’t shared already I’ve also begun reading A Course in Miracles. Or I should say I’m doing A Course in Miracles. It is a very interactive read, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. As of the release of this episode on October 26, 2017 I am 36 days into the course. It has been both challenging and freeing.
While overall I can acknowledge I’m a pretty positive person, I have become aware of how critical I am of myself and others. While this awareness is a bit startling it’s a good thing because enables me to let go of being so critical.
Given some of the things I’ve been dealing with recently and what’s been going on in our society in the past few months I don’t think it was a coincidence that I took the opportunity finally to begin A Course in Miracles.
If you have done any part of the course or you are thinking about it I would love to hear from you. I don’t think this course is meant to be done on your own and I’m seeking a variety of perspectives. I’ve gained so much from others sharing with me what their experience has been, either the insights they’ve gained or questions they still have.
Living “The Four Agreements”
I’ve got a new series of 100% Jodi for you and it’s based on one of the most impactful books I have ever read, The Four Agreements. Last May I published a 100% Jodi episode titled, 9 Places I Found What I (Didn’t Realize) I Needed. In that episode I shared 9 books that came into my life and changed it for the better.
Chronologically, The Four Agreements came into my life second but it is the book I recommend most when people ask what book I would recommend to others. The reason for this is I believe the biggest thing holding us back in our lives and our businesses is our stress reactions. Our stress reactions are created by our perception of self, others and the world at large.
Quite simply, the teachings in The Four Agreements enable you to change your perception so you don’t get stressed out by what’s happening. Because you don’t get stressed out and thus shut down, overreact or pretend things are okay when they are not, you can bring forth your highest self in any situation.
The Four Agreements are powerful because they are simple.
On Saturday, October 14, 2017 I had the pleasure of attending an event in Portland, Maine titled The Four Agreements for a Better Life. The speakers were don Miguel Ruiz, the author of The Four Agreements, and his sons don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. and don Jose Ruiz.
In this and the next few 100% Jodi episodes I’m going to share with you the notes I took that evening and some of my thoughts around the material.
The Most Important Agreement
Don Miguel Ruiz, Sr. started the evening declaring the most important agreement is “Be Impeccable with Your Word.” It is the most important agreement because your word creates your reality.
You have created the story of yourself so if you don’t like the story you have about yourself you can change it. You don’t have to be the current version of you anymore if you don’t want to.
You are an artist with your words. The art you create is the story of your life. It is not real, you made it up, so you can change it at any time.
Don Miguel Ruiz, Sr. issued a request to help him change the world. The way you change the world is by changing your own world. You change your world by changing the way you speak, specifically by no longer using words against yourself.
- Stop punishing yourself for the mistakes you believe you made.
- Stop attacking (and thus trying to control) other people.
- Respect yourself; respect other people. When you respect yourself and others you find peace.
Life is Easy. We Make it Difficult.
We make life difficult by adding drama to it.
You will change your world by changing the way you treat yourself and your physical body.
It doesn’t matter what others do. What is important is for you to enjoy your life.
What really struck me in what don Miguel Sr. shared is that it was a fantastic compliment to the conversation Libby Bunten and I had in last week’s On-Air Coaching Call episode. Libby and I recorded our call the day before this event occurred so I went into this event with our conversation fresh in my mind.
In that episode, Libby shared how her old story of who she is, specifically who she is for other people, was holding her back in her business and keeping her from being her highest self in her life. Not only was it keeping her from being her highest self but she could see how it was keeping those around her from being their highest selves as well.
Before our coaching call Libby had already started crafting a new story for herself, however, she was having difficulty living into it. We were able to identify some things that were holding her back from truly embracing her new empowering story and some practices that would help her to more quickly integrate it into her life.
The Stories that Hold You Back
My clients come to me for various reasons but what is always holding them back is a story they have about who they are, who other people are, how things should be done, etc.
These stories are the words that they repeat to themselves and keep them imprisoned in their current reality. Here are some examples:
Stories and words that keep you from trusting others
“If you want something done right you’ve got to do it yourself.”
“I’m the only one who can do this.”
“I can’t trust others to do this the way it needs to be done.”
You cannot grow in your business or your career or your life without beginning to trust others. It may sound like an insurmountable hurdle but there are ways to build trust slowly so you can get to a place where you can allow other people opportunities to grow as well.
It can be done. It has been done. It could be yours.
Stories and words that devalue your abilities
“I’m not the expert.”
“I’ve only been in business for X amount of years.”
“My degree is in another field.”
“I don’t have the letters after my name.”
“Other people have so much more experience than I do.”
Let’s be clear, more experience, degrees and letters do not necessarily mean better results. In fact, when I challenged one of my clients on this belief she owned up that some of her clients had hired her after hiring a so-called “experienced expert” to come in and fix what the experienced person had done.
What society considers valuable is not necessarily what produces results. Please don’t devalue what you can do for your clients and customers. They need you to help them so be more confident so they can put their trust in you.
Stories and words that give your power away to others
“If I speak up for myself I’ll hurt this person.”
“There’s no point in speaking up. They’re not going to listen to what I have to say.”
“There’s nothing I can do.”
“Why bother, it’s not going to make a difference.”
When we give our power away, when we stop speaking up for ourselves, for what we believe and we stop trying to make a difference we mentally become a victim to our circumstances. I’m not got to water this down. This mentality has catastrophic consequences to our health, work, relationships, finances, and thus destroys our experience of joy and peace.
To Sum it Up…
There is NO FREEDOM in any of the stories I just mentioned and these stories attack who you really are, your highest self. They disrespect you and they disrespect others.
The moral of this episode is your words create your experience. Watch the words that flow through your mind and the words that come out of your mouth.
If you find the words that you think or speak upset you or limit what’s possible for you, you have a choice.
You can keep going on the way you’re going and hope things get better or you can challenge your words and choose new words that empower you.
“Be Impeccable with Your Word” is the most important agreement because your word creates your reality.
As always, I hope this was of value to you and here’s to your success!
Thank You to Our Sponsors!
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
Checklist to Ask Your Company for Coaching: Would coaching help you become a stronger leader? Wondering if your company would pay? It doesn’t hurt to ask!
Leadership Operating System Quiz: Wondering what kind of Leadership traits you have? Take this FREE, FAST quiz and find out more about yourself as a Leader.
Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: The book containing a simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.